Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I have already put on my inside pants.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
