Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I want to make a zoo with you.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
