On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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