you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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