I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize