It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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