Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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