Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
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How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
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Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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