i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize