Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
