is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
