Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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