I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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