you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
this hospital has no fireball
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
