Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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