I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
