Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
my sisters under your porch take her home
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
