Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
