how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
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