when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Randomize
