there's paper in my vomit.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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