I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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