That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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