All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
