he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
