she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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