ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
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With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
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Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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