How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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