i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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