Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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