I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
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