I could have mohawked her pubes.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
