you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
