U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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