kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
