i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
