Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
