Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
