mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
