dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
