oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
