I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
