This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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