Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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