I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
