she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
