It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize