ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
