even my farts smell like vagina
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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