dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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