woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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