hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
