I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
