They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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