so let's talk penis.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
