Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
