I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize