And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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