ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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