I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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