I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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