16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
