hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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