This girl is more easily done than said...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
