she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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